


When you mix blue and green

by DeVloer



Category: Avenue Q - Lopez/Marx
Genre: Acceptance, Also they're just really talented and very underrated, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coming Out, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, I might add more tags later, Light Angst, M/M, One Shot, WATCH MUSHU ART'S ANIMATION ON THIS IT'S LIKE COMPLETELY BASED ON THAT, based on animation, based on green by cavetown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:07:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24612766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeVloer/pseuds/DeVloer
Summary: A different ending to avenue QWhat if Rod hadn't ignored Nicky when he was apologizing?
Relationships: Nicky/Rod (Avenue Q)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 44





	When you mix blue and green

Flies zoomed around the half-eaten burger, which, after about two bites, Nicky had decided was too disgusting to keep eating. He had found it in Princeton's garbage, and even though his mind was deeply protesting, his grumbling stomach eventually gave in and he had grabbed it. Bad decision; it tasted worse than the time he had mistaken Rod's super-expensive toothpaste for mayonnaise.

Nicky sighed and leaned on his elbow, slightly smiling at the memory. He had put it all over their fries, basically ruining their entire dinner. Rod was furious, loudly cussing Nicky out for wasting his toothpaste. Eventually, they just ordered a pizza and watched a movie together. It turned out to be exactly what they needed, as they both had a hard week. Both of them fell asleep on the couch and slept in the next day.

A new fly came his way, hovering around him. Nicky followed it with his eyes and sighed. Boy, did he miss Rod. He missed their conversations and silly arguments. There were so many things about Rod Nicky never noticed before. Like how his eyes seemed to sparkle whenever he talked about one of his favorite musicals. Or how his orange hair curled up slightly when he just got out of the shower. Or how shiny his lips were in the morning because he just put on vaseline.

And his hugs. God, Nicky missed his hugs. He missed how small Rod's body felt in his arms, or how Rod's cheeks were always slightly colored pink when they pulled away.

Nicky could feel his cheeks heating up just thinking about it, as a warm feeling spread through his chest. Thinking about Rod made him happy.

Speaking of Rod, there he was.

His heart made a jump as the two of them made eye-contact. In the few weeks they had not seen each other, dark rings had formed under Rod's eyes. He had not been sleeping nor cared for himself, because his lips were heavily chapped and his hair greasy, even though he had still taken the time to gel it. In his arms was a bouquet of blue and green flowers, some of it staining lightly on his white undershirt.

A spear of guilt struck through his chest, as he realized he was the cause of this. All this was because of a stupid assumption he made. He regretted it now more than ever, seeing how much of an effect it had made on his friend. Oh, why couldn't he have just shut his mouth?

He wanted to yell out how sorry he was, but Rod was running before he could even open his mouth, leaving behind a trail of flower petals. All he managed to do was mutter out a: "Rod, wait!" before the door of his previous house slammed shut in his face.

And Nicky helplessly stood there, with a still outreached arm. On the other side of the door, though, there was even more panic.

Rod let out a shaky breath, leaning against the door as his knees wobbled. It felt like he hadn't seen Nicky in years; he had looked so different. His hair was a mess, along with dirty marks all over his face, and he was _so thin._

Of course, he had heard by now that Nicky was sleeping in the garbage, but he didn't think he would look that bad. He thought the others would have been giving him some of their food, but it looked like he hadn't eaten properly in days. Rod felt his heart sink because he knew it was his fault.

He could feel his eyes starting to well up, and he glanced down at the flowers. He barely even remember why he had bought flowers, it didn't matter to him anymore now. All they did was remind him of his friend. The green color matched Nicky's skin almost perfectly.

Oh, how Nicky loved telling him how much his skin matched with Rod's nose. It was quite a strange coincidence, it didn't happen often where two people have matching colors. Nicky once said it must've meant that they were "extra" special friends.

Friends...

A silent tear fell down Rod's cheek, landing in the center of a blue flower. Why, of all people, did Rod have to fall in love with his best friend? Nicky was straight, nothing could ever happen between them! But then why, why do his cheeks still feel warm when they hug? Why do his fingers tingle whenever their hands brush together? Why... does he want to kiss him?

_Could he live beside him, knowing his fantasy will never come true?_

Another tear fell down, this time splattering on a green flower. The stem, which was thinner than the others, slowly caved in from the extra weight of the liquid. Just as the flower was about to break, Rod raised his hand and slid his finger underneath the petals, lifting it up from the bouquet.

He stared at the flower. Green... _It looked so good in green..._

Slowly, he averted his eyes to one of the pictures standing on a desk. It was him and Nicky, smiling widely. Nicky was nearly a head bigger than him, his arms draped of Rod's shoulders and hugging him from behind.

He gulped and widened his eyes. He _misses_ him, he realized. Yes, he is in love with Nicky, but he also... _loves_ Nicky.

Those two weeks apart had made him sadder than all those years of holding his feelings back. He didn't care if Nicky didn't love him back, he just wants to be around Nicky as much as he could and make him happy. 

_Most importantly, he wanted his friend to be safe..._

He stared at the picture, letting the realization come over him. Then, the flowers were promptly dropped on the floor and Rod was outside in seconds.

There, in the exact same position as when he slammed the door in his face, stood a tear-jerked Nicky. Rod felt a new rush of guilt at the sight of his friend in such a sad state, but he couldn't waste another second. He couldn't bear being without Nicky any longer.

"I'm so sorry, Nicky."

He instantly felt a massive weight lift from his shoulders, that had been pressing down on him ever since he kicked Nicky out, and he continued with calm voice.

"I miss having you around. I miss your loud music and your mess." Rod chuckled to himself at how cheesy he was sounding. "I even miss your teeth..."

Then he gulped and looked down, his chest tightening with regret. "I was too blunt, Nicky. I never should have kicked you out..."

Fresh tears welled up in his eyes, and he squeezed his eyes shut to try and hold them back. "I just... want you to be happy... That's all I-"

And then he was suddenly surrounded by warmth, choking in the middle of the sentence. It took a full second to realize it was Nicky's arms, making him completely freeze.

He had expected Nicky to punch him, or to cuss him out, or maybe even tackle him. But he never thought Nicky would hug him, after everything he had done. He knew he didn't deserve this quick forgiveness and almost felt the need to pull away.

But then he just completely melted in the touch and realized just _how much_ he had missed this. He couldn't help but hug his friend back, hiding his face in Nicky's sweater and not caring how dirty it was.

Nicky pulled away after just a few seconds but kept his hands on his friend's shoulders, his usual wide smile back on his face. If possible, it made Rod even happier, his cheeks coloring a deeper pink.

"Rod, buddy. That's all I want too!" Nicky said, squeezing Rod's undershirt between his fingers. "I don't get why you're apologizing, I should be the one to do that!"

Rod quickly shook his head, grabbing Nicky's hands. "It doesn't matter anymore. Will you move back in with me?"

Nicky grinned, turning his hands around to link their fingers together. "If it makes you happy-"

"It would!"

Both of them shared the same relieved expression. Nicky almost felt the need to go in for another hug, but Rod lowered their hands and turned around. Hands still connected, they walked to the door and stepped in.

A wave of comfort spread through his body, as he stepped in the familiar hallway. He realized he would no longer have to search for burgers in the garbage, and like a punch to the face, suddenly noticed just how hungry he was. When was the last time he ate? He couldn't even remember.

He let go of Rod's hand and booked for their kitchen, craving some, well... he'd probably eat anything at this point. He just needed something as soon as possible.

"Nicky, wait!" Rod gasped behind him and tried to grab his hand, but Nicky had already seen it.

The kitchen was a complete mess. There were plates of half-eaten meals all over the counters and dirty dishes overflowing the sink. And Rod hated dirty dishes; whenever they had finished eating, the first thing he did was clean. To be honest, Nicky had never even seen a full sink, not even late at night.

Nicky was shocked. How much had he actually hurt Rod?

"I was so disappointed..." Rod' spoke up softly behind him, making him turn around. He awkwardly had his arm on his elbow and was looking at his feet, avoiding his eyes. "I felt like you had betrayed me... like I couldn't trust you anymore."

Nicky knew instantly what he was talking about, and could feel his heart break. He furrowed his eyebrows together. Rod gulped and slowly looked up. "It's stupid, I know. I don't know what came over me."

"Oh, Rod..." Nicky mumbled, "I'm so sorry I made you feel that way."

His eyes filled with regret and he averted his eyes. "I guess I got to my head... I was just too dumb to understand it..."

A flashback send him back to Brian and Christmas Eve's wedding. He should have just disregarded the question and avoid this whole situation. Who even assumes their friend's sexuality and talks about it behind their back?

"I get it now..." He continued and glanced up again. "I know it's too late to take it back, but I never stopped feeling guilty about it. From now on, I promise to believe anything you say about yourself, okay?"

Rod let out a small smile, his cheeks coloring red. "I'm over it, Nicky. I can promise that."

Then, Rod put his hands behind his back and averted his eyes, his cheeks going even redder. "I just... I guess I got upset because... well... it's true..."

Nicky blinked slowly, not catching on. "What do you mean?"

"What you said was true, Nicky." A comfortable smile was set on Rod's face. _He trusts Nicky._

"I am gay."

Like a blobfish, Nicky's mouth completely fell open. He stared at Rod with wide eyes. Of course, he'd always suspected it but he hadn't expected Rod to just flat out say it. He thought maybe his friend had been confused, or not sure, but it looked like he's known for years. Why did it take such a long time for him to come out of the closet?

"You're gonna catch flies with that open mouth, Nicky." Rod let out a small chuckle and reached out and arm to pinch Nicky in his cheek. "It's not that big of a surprise, right?"

Nicky didn't respond, so Rod lowered his hand and continued. "I'm quite certain everybody on avenue Q knows already. Especially after the "girlfriend in Canada" fiasco..."

He awkwardly chuckled at his own joke, before relaxing his shoulders and frowning slightly. "I guess I was too scared to come out for a long time, I was afraid of what you guys would think about me."

Raising his hand to scratch behind his head, he averted his eyes to the ceiling. "Both my parents have told me that being gay is wrong, y' know, being republican and all? So for most of my teenage years I felt pretty disgusted at myself."

He sighed, thinking back at how confused and hateful he was back in high school. He'd sometimes call out some of the first-years if they dressed in skinny-jeans or wore "feminine" clothes. Nothing too bad, of course, but still some mean things.

_God, so cringy..._

He shook his head. "I absolutely hated myself for my feelings and body and pushed them away for a long time. But then college rolled around."

A smile formed on his face, and he looked at Nicky. "That's where we met, right? You remember how it was there. It was so different, much more... accepting. I still felt really uncomfortable, but I guess I felt... safer when I was around you."

He realized he had been rambling on for a while, and let out an awkward cough. "Anyway, I hope you think of me still as your friend..."

He gulped slowly, and a small rush of fear came through him. "I-If you hate me now, I totally understand... Maybe we can-"

Before he understood what was happening, Nicky's arms were around his waist and suddenly his feet were no longer touching the ground.

"N-Nicky!" He yelled in panic and grabbed hold of his shoulders. "What are you-"

"Rod!" Nicky spun them around, a big smile on his face. "I could never hate you! You're my best friend!"

Nicky was holding him up with ease, despite being weaker from not eating. Rod was just that small in his arms. Thinking about it, he had never lifted Rod up like this. It felt nice.

"I don't care if you're gay or not," He continued. "I'm proud of you still!"

A relief Rod didn't know he needed flooded his body, and for the second time that night, he could feel his eyes watering. But this time, they were happy tears.

Nicky furrowed his eyebrows together at the sight and lowered his friend down so they were at eye-level again. Rod's feet were still not touching the ground though, and instead of just letting them hang, he wrapped them around Nicky's waist. Normally, he probably would have been too embarrassed to do so, but he couldn't find himself caring right now. He was too happy.

Nicky let out a soft chuckle and, now that he didn't need to support Rod's weight anymore, lifted a hand to cup his cheek. "You know I'll always love you, I just hope you love yourself..."

Rod would have jumped through the ceiling if he'd hear those words a few minutes ago, but when he could feel Nicky's breath on his cheeks, everything just felt so... natural.

_He loves Nicky... Nicky loves him... That's the way it's always been..._

They have been together for years and years. They've cried with each other, they've comforted each other. He can't imagine his life without Nicky. Nicky has just always... been there...

He didn't notice their faces were getting closer until their foreheads were touching. And Nicky was just as relaxed as he was. No panic or hesitation in his eyes. Just... _pure calmness._

_This is how it's supposed to be..._

"All I want... is for you to be happy..." Nicky whispered and then their lips were connected.

Rod felt weightless, almost like he was drifting through space. It was a feeling that was completely new for him but still felt so familiar in a way he couldn't possibly describe. For a split-second, it felt scary, but then everything just felt comfortable and good and nice.

Although his eyes were closed, he could see every color of the rainbow and inhaled the sight, almost like he was inhaling a soft drink that warmed his soul. Nothing in the world existed beside him and Nicky, and suddenly everything just... made sense.

Eventually, Nicky's lips pulled away, but it took him a few seconds longer to get out of his little world. When he finally managed to open his eyes, Nicky was staring at him.

They stared at each other for what seemed like hours, but it wasn't enough time for Rod to come to his senses. All he could do was drown in Nicky's eyes, as all rational thought escaped him.

Then, like a rainstorm clearing up, Nicky smiled. Oh, what a beautiful sight it was.

In reaction, Rod couldn't help but giggle.

And so Nicky started laughing.

And then both of them were bursting with joy, laughing so hard everyone on avenue Q could hear them. But they didn't care, nothing else really mattered to them anymore.

And when they walked out the next day with their hands linked, Chrismas Eve knew the next wedding would not be far away.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the youtube animation "green" from Mushi Art, go watch that video before you read this!
> 
> Sorry, it took such a long time to come out! I had a hard time with the lyrics because they sound really weird in actual dialogue lol. I rearranged them a bit so it makes more sense. 
> 
> I do hope you liked it cause I had a lot of fun writing it! I wanted to write an avenue Q fic for a long time but didn't know a story so I sorta used your animation as an excuse to write XD
> 
> Okay I'm talking too much if you're still reading this and you're not Mushu GO CHECK OUT THEIR CHANNEL THEY'RE COOL


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